Here lately I’ve just given up on people. This year I have reached that breaking point of no return. My faith that people could actually be decent human beings is gone. The trust that you bestow in one is so sacred and cherished that once it’s broken; you’re broken. That’s where I am today. I am broken. My faith in everything is broken. I’m lost in a world in which I can’t seem to understand. People I once considered friends or lovers have broken me down to someone I can’t even recognize. I truly don’t know who I am right now. I feel like I need professional help but my pride want take me there. How do I shake this feeling, or is this even shakable. All day these thoughts run through my mind. It’s hard to focus on anything else. I stay up all night just looking at this little light that comes from my Xbox one sitting on the tv mantel. In looking at this light I’m hoping that something shines through to me. Im looking for a sign. A notion of something better to come.
All faith I have in people is gone, but my abilities still remain. I’ve cut everyone out of my life that added nothing but negativity to my life. My need to succeed is at an all time high. It’s like I need success to validate my life now. I need it for me. At this point everyone I ever knew doesn’t exist. Their opinion doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter that they know I succeed or not. For once in my life I’m doing something for me. That hasn’t been the way I operated in the past. I’ve always been the person to help others out before I help myself. Always putting others happiness before my owns. All that changes now. I want to be happy. I need to be happy. I need to be successful. I feel like thats the trigger to my happiness. I want to be extraordinary. So when all faith is gone worry about yourself. Start acting on your own happiness. I must be selfish. I have to be selfish.